Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
