Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize