I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
