remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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