We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
