Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
