Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
there is puke in my bra ... again
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
