Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
