I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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