It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize