Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
