is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize