i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
