you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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