Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
