She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Success! We fucked roommates!
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