im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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