During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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