3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
