i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
