I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
