She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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