Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
