Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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