he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this beer tastes like vomit already
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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