there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
