I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
