i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
