Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
