It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
