may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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