I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
