Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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