You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
