I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
