The best revenge is premature balding
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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