I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
