sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
