was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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