I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize