that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
