I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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