so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize