its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
