So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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