your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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