I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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