it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
