"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize