She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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