He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
