guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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