four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
