My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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