I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
