im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
