He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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