Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize