Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
