Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
