i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
