i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
