got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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