I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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